Curse

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 06, 2010, 11:10 PM // 23:10

Could someone please crit this picture I'm working on. I'm struggling especially with the large portion of hair which has the wrong look of depth and anything else that could be improved. Thank you.

GeminiJuSa · Feb 06, 2010, 11:46 PM // 23:46

Don't be afraid of making lines in the hair. If you're uncertain about them; draw them on a separate layer and try out. Hair consists of several small bangs. Study on real people/pictures how it usually bemds and curls. Don't be afraid to draw separate hairs and spaces in between bangs. Putting hair in motion will make the hairs separate and fly a litte differently.

sonofthort · Feb 07, 2010, 12:50 AM // 00:50

The hair didn't really strike me as being out of place or anything, I kind of like it. The way you have it now it gives it a glossy look, but I can see what the previous poster means by adding more detail, I suppose the bottom peice could use some. Something that sticks out to me are the detail lines you drew on the stomach, don't really know how to describe it but they just kind of turn me off, makes it look like a she has a gut or strong abs, nothing wrong with that, but I don't know if that's the look you are going for. Something I notice is that her left side (where her tummy is exposed) angles up kind of awkwardly, if you follow the angle, it doesn't really match what you think would be underneath the shirt. I think it needs to come in a little bit more, not curve out so much. Also, something I notice when I checked proportions is that the arms seem too short, although honestly when I look at the image as a whole they don't stick out as awkward what so ever, I think it has to do with the characterture nature of the art style, trying to emphasize the legs and the head. All in all, very impressive, you are doing great!

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 07, 2010, 01:04 AM // 01:04

Aha yes it looks like she has a pot belly hehe. I'll try to look at these things. The thing with the hair is to me it looks like the large part at the back is getting closer to her because of the way I did the shadow but if I add more lines like GeminiJuSa said, to each side it may start to look curled inwards....Atleast I hope. Thanks for the opinions they're very helpful.

YunSooJin · Feb 07, 2010, 04:17 AM // 04:17

are the arms bent? the elbow should come down to just above the belly button if its not bent. also you need to show that the arm is moved back a bit by the placement of the shadows. the way you have it now its impossible to see that because the placement of the shadows just seems sort of random. You should try to depict more clearly where your lightsource is coming from.

the left side of her face (our left) looks fatter than it really is because you've made the hair there thick as well.. if you want it to look more balance then you can simply make the hair thinner.

neck is too thick/long

where your legs end we should actually start seeing the bend of the knee, i think its because i dont see that the legs look a bit disembodied

also, since her head is slightly turned the width of her left eye (our left) should be thinner than the right.

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 07, 2010, 04:32 AM // 04:32

bah I'm better off starting a new one lol

Kerwyn Nasilan · Feb 07, 2010, 04:33 AM // 04:33

Arms look very abnormal, not an expert on figure so I can't give you specific ideas on how to fix it, sorry.

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 07, 2010, 04:39 AM // 04:39

Although the left arm (our left) isn't finished yet. I just left it black for now.

YunSooJin · Feb 07, 2010, 08:18 AM // 08:18

Talania, I pretty much have the same problems you're having in terms of wanting to do a full complete piece but having it not look right as I move along with it. I don't have much advice except to make sure you just do a lineart-type piece first, make sure its PERFECT and then try moving from there.

ysj

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 07, 2010, 10:59 PM // 22:59

I've started on trying to improve a few things. Working on the Hair and Neck at the moment. Now she has a fat face haha. Excuse I haven't done the shadows or highlights just working on general shape for now.

I think making the right arm longer wont be too hard as I can make the stick completely straight that way the arm will have to be longer to reach it. Then if I shadow the left arm to show that its bent hopefully things will be much better *fingers crossed*

Also I think it might help if I have the garter further up the leg just so its partially obscured by the skirt but I am noob in photoshop and was wondering if anyone knows how I can rotate just the garter so that I can have the more detailed top part down the bottom...I dont really want to redo that part hehe. Thanks.

http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/a...k_182/WIP9.jpg

On this one I added more hair and moved the face/chin inline with the neck

http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/a..._182/wip10.jpg

YunSooJin · Feb 08, 2010, 12:33 AM // 00:33

what do you mean, rotate the garter?

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 08, 2010, 12:45 AM // 00:45

To turn it around so its up teh other way

YunSooJin · Feb 08, 2010, 12:59 AM // 00:59

you mean flipped horizontally?

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 08, 2010, 01:16 AM // 01:16

yeh sure its just so I have the more detailed part still visible.

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 10, 2010, 03:05 AM // 03:05

Do you think this is getting better or shall I call it a lost cause :/ I am yet to deal with the pot belly haha.

Little Shenanigan · Feb 10, 2010, 02:10 PM // 14:10

it's getting better (i like the expression more) but things are still wonky with it.

the hands are really small - put your hands in front of your face, and they at least reach your eyes.
also, the hair on the right side looks a bit strange - it all has the same curve-ending-point-thingy whereas on the left side it doesn't end of the same curve (i think it looks better if it doesn't). also, the hair bump thing on top of her head where the clip is looks....strange.

hope that helped some? they are just my opinions - i fail at art

GeminiJuSa · Feb 10, 2010, 03:14 PM // 15:14

I think the hair is a great progress, though it still has a kinda unnaturla stiffness (unless you have grease delux hair) but the use of bangs is much better. Also the arm is looking better, though I'd still want some more work on it in the sense that it's still unclear if she's bending it or not. If she's not beinding it the hands should reach a tad bit lower.

Eliya · Feb 11, 2010, 12:52 AM // 00:52

If you look at the curve of her legs, to where they would meet her hips, her right leg should have less of a curve, if that makes sense. Also, i think her breasts should be slightly lower, and her right arm should have more of an evident bend. As as said before, the pink hair clip looks very... almost like it's holding a little alfalfa hair up, lol. And personally, i would give more angles to her face, and make it less rounded, so her face will be less youthful and have a more attractive, womanly look to match her curvacious body.

Talania Vulcanclaw · Feb 11, 2010, 01:17 AM // 01:17

Ah yes I did notice the hair clip and changed it a bit. I been doing some shinies because the arm is hard

When you say the right arm your talking about her actual right arm or the one on our right?

Thanks for all your advices they really helping me..I'm sorry I cannot correct things very fast because I only using a mouse and have to go to work and things but thankyou you have really helped me.

frostkisses · Feb 11, 2010, 09:16 AM // 09:16

The hair looks much better now that you've added some highlight to it. That one piece of hair sticking out of the top really puts me off though. I think it would look better without it and maybe make that small butterfly into a slightly larger one, so it looks like something is holding up that poof she has. Dont get me wrong, I like the "poof" just didnt know what else to call it lol.
I think you could help the leg out a lot if you thinned out the garter, its very thick for her small frame. Looks like a ruffled ace bandage. Maybe move it up just a tad.